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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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