you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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