i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
