wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
