belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
