Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
