I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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