hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
pray to the hookup gods
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize