So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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