I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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