im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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