I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
