# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
