Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
