I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
