It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
