Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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