You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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