But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
