he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Houston, we have a blender
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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