God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
