i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
