just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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