ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
