I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
