Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
