I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
