his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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