Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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