It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm jealous of your bromance
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
