Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
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