I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
