My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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