Someone shit on the floor
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
