im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
