YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
