So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
