My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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