That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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