1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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