So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
either way he was missing a nipple.
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Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
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Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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