i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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