I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
