just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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