He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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