the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
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You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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