just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
