Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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