...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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