Screwed.edu
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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