I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
