Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize