woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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