Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
