I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
