You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
