I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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