He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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