There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
