Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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