He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
