Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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