that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's Friday. Sex?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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