If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
