U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals