Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.