Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.