I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant